You, Always
by mistressgenamalfoy
Summary: Vera Marion fought alongside her 3 best friends Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger in the final War. But after losing the love of her life, Fred Weasley, she finds it unbearable to move on. Until an old friend comes back to fix her soul.
1. 8 years later

_Sometimes I wake up by the door,_

_That heart you caught must be waiting for you_

_Even now when we're already overI can't help myself from looking for you_

_.-Adele, Set Fire To The Rain_

* * *

><p><em>"You're joking Perce!" I heard Fred laugh. <em>

Ginny and Hermione would be here soon.

_**"**__You actually are joking Perce….I don't think I've heard you joke since you were…."_

_There was an explosion, screams, then I blacked out. _

Its 8 years later now. I look at the clock. 6:45 pm. I arrange the dinner plates so that they are equal to each other. Something is missing as I survey my settings. But, there was always something missing. I walk over to the dresser to retrieve the silverware. my eyes hesitate as I look up at the picture of Fred that rests on top of it. I tear my eyes away from it. It hurts too much. Neatly and slowly I place the silverware on the teal napkins I had picked out the week before. I step away and survey my work. I had always been a perfectionist, but not too over the top. Even without magic. I am satisfied and I throw a limp smile to the mirror overhead. I look tired and frail, but that happens when sleep doesn't come easy. My dark red hair looks lifeless and my green eyes have seem to lost their luster. i'm fair skinned and thin, but that hasn't changed. At least my lips were still pink. I turn away when I hear a loud crack in the living room and I make my way in it's direction. I find Ginny, hair still flaming red and Hermione, still looking wise as ever waiting for me. Both look disheveled from traveling.

"Vera! " Ginny rushes over to hug me as Hermione brushes herself off. I release her and turn to hug Hermione.

"I will never understand why apparating has to be so loud," Hermione says as she lets me go. I smile at them.

"How's Harry?" I ask, "and Ron." I finally say.

"Oh they're fine," Ginny says as she removes her coat and Hermione follows. "Being boys. They send they're love."

I escort them into the dining room and wave my wand at 3 wine glass, which instantly fill themselves up with plum wine. I watch them set themselves down on the table and we take our seats.

"We have some news," Hermione begins, "Ron and I and Harry and Ginny."

I take a sip of my wine, wondering what it could be.

"What is it? Has something happened?"

Ginny laughs,"No, nothing bad…Hermione and I are going to have a baby."

My wine goes down the wrong pipe. "What? You're kidding! Thats wonderful!"

"Yea, I couldn't believe it. both of us at the same time," Hermione says, smiling brightly at me. They take sips of their wine.

"Any names picked out?"

"Harry is set on James."I smile, I knew that was coming.

"And Ron and I are set on Rose."

"That's great," I respond. I suddenly feel empty again. I look ahead at the picture of Fred on the dresser. They notice.

"Vera…that's not the real reason Hermione and I came over," Ginny begins and I know whats coming.

"I'm fine," I lie.

"No, you're not. You're destroying yourself. Its been 8 years. We all miss him, but you can't be alone anymore," Hermione looks at me seriously and with desperation.

"I'm fine. I know he isn't coming back. I know he's gone."

"George came by to see us, he says he hasn't heard from you. He's worried," Ginny responds.

"I've been…busy. I'm writing again."

Hermione smiles. "Thats great, I'm so happy. anything ready yet?"I shake my head,

"No, i'm still trying to fit the pieces together, it will take time." Ginny and Hermione look at each other. I begin to feel flustered.

"Maybe we can just do this another time. I'm not feeling to well. Send Harry and Ron my love. I'll stop by soon. I'm sorry." I begin to walk away and Ginny and Hermione remove themselves from the table as well. Ginny sends me a loving good-bye, which I return and I watch them collect their coats and put them on.

"I'll see you soon, love," Ginny says before dissapparating, but Hermione stays behind. She looks up at me as I turn away from her gaze.

"He wouldn't want this, Vera. He wouldn't want you to live in pain. You need to know that. sometimes you just have to let go. "

I don't respond.

"We're here for you, whatever happens." I close my eyes as a defining crack fills my ears telling me Hermione's gone. I've never felt lonelier.

*all quotes belong to J.K. Rowling and adele*


	2. Georgie

_All my nightmares escaped my head, _

_Bar the door, please don't let them in_

_You were never supposed to leave, _

_Now my head's splitting at the seams_-Radical Face, Welcome home

* * *

><p>In the time it took me to get over my feeling of hatred for myself, it was already way past 9. I regretted the way I left off with Hermione and Ginny and decided to send an owl and apologize. What would I say though as I grabbed my quill and a fresh sheet of parchment, 'sorry that I haven't gotten over Fred and I am a mess?' No, that wouldn't be very much of an apology. Part of me knew though, that they already had that figured out so it wouldn't do much good. So I decided to go another route and send a letter to George. But, what would i say? Deciding to just say whatever I thought of first I began to write.<p>

"Dear George, I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you. Things have been busy. I started writing again among other things. I was thinking of stopping by for a visit. Please send me back an answer as soon as you can.

lots of love,Vera"

I surveyed the letter one last time before attaching it to my barn owl Esma.

"Take this to George okay?"She hoots, which lets me know she understands and I watch her fly away. I wish I could join her.

* * *

><p><em>February 1997<em>

"_Stop it Fred," I laughed. He takes my hand and spins me around into his arms and whispers into my ear._

_"Oh c'mon love, aren't you having fun?"_

_I break away from his grip laughing as I run from him and he chases visited me from work and we spent the whole of the afternoon outside at the great lake. The sun was just setting, making Fred's hair glow._ _He catches up to me and I am too slow to escape from his grip. We fall over and I land on top of him as we burst into laughter. He looks at me with those eyes that I love so much and tucks my hair behind my ear._

_"Why do you have to do that?" I demand_

_"Do what?" he asks_

_"Be so damn perfect."_ _He frowns at me_

_"I could ask you the same question. But, I am not perfect dear, I am way better. Haven't you noticed my witty personality and outstanding good looks?"_

_I hit him playfully,"Oh shut up."_ _He kisses me. i feel that warm tingle._

_"I love you ya know," he says seriously, making me overwhelmed with joy._

_"This is the part where I say I love you too right?"_

_He nods," Yea, that would be nice."_

_"Ok then, I love you too,"_ _I get off him and he helps me up off the ground as we walk back towards the castle. I look up at the massive stature above me. I loved Hogwarts, almost as much as Harry did and I knew I wouldn't be coming back next year. But Fed didn't know that I had volunteered to help Harry on his hunt for the Horcruxes. He didn't even know about any of that and it killed me. I was lying to him wasn't I?_

_"Vera?"I looked forward to see Fred waving his hand in front of my face._

_"Oh, sorry"_

_"Are you alright?"_ _I think about the sacrifice I am going to make and the thought of leaving Fred behind and it hurts, but I put on a smile. I have a little while left with him._

_"Im fine," I say and he escorts me back into the Great Hall before leaving. I watch him depart after a long kiss good-bye, hoping he gets back safely to George. I turn back inside after he completely disappears from view, and head back to the common room. Yes, I had a little while longer with him. For now, that would do._

* * *

><p><em>May 1998<em>

_"No not Fred!" someone yelled._

_I break through the crowd. George is waiting for me._

_"George what is it? whats going on?" I panic_

_George grabs me and holds me tightly, "Its Fred Vera, don't look."_

_My heart is pounding, I can't breathe…_ _…_

* * *

><p>I wake up in a cold sweat, not even remembering that I had gone to bed. I look at the clock: 3:30 am. I groan and roll over on my side. Sleep was becoming intolerable. How much longer would this go on? Just then my eyes darted towards the window and in the distance I saw a shadow of a bird coming closer. I knew it must be Esma so I ran to the window and opened it. A few seconds later she glided like a ghost into the room and landed on my shoulder.<p>

"Thanks Esma," I said as I remove the paper from her beak. She hoots happily and flew over to her cage to drink some water. i remove my wand from my pocket and mutter, "_Lumos_." and move my wand over George's reply.

"Vera, It is so great to hear from you. It would be great if you could come by and see me. Angelina will be at work and is sorry she won't be able to. How about you come over tomorrow at around 3? Look forward to seeing you."

Lots of love back,Georgie"

"Nox."

My wand light extinguished and I fold the note up and placed both on my nightstand before getting back into bed. As I laid there I wondered what would happen when I did see George. I then closed my eyes and saw Fred's face before I finally succumb to sleep.


	3. Tea and Torment

__Been this way since 18__

_But lately her face seems_

_Slowly sinking, wasting_

_-Ed Sheeran, A-Team lyrics_

* * *

><p>I drape my cloak over my shoulders before Disapparating into Diagon Alley I liked to walk and never ended up right where I was suppose to be. George and Angelina lived in a flat located on top of the joke shop that George still ran, with the help of the rest of The Weasleys, when they weren't busy working at the Ministry. I was a writer for the Daily Prophet and I had started to work from home to spend more time on other things and get myself together. I did, however, miss working with Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny. They had all become Aurors and though I was highly qualified and begged to join, I had taken a different route. A safe one. But, the offer was always on the table.<p>

I walked up the high street, passing smiling people along the way, which i gladly returned. It was this place that made me feel like everything was normal, that it was just yesterday that I was picking out my wand, walking with Harry, Ron and Hermione and getting ice cream with Fred. I glanced at Ollivander's, a sense of longing in my heart, before continuing on my way. yes, it was just yesterday that we were all together, preparing for a new school year, but that was….

_'Before he was gone, but then why do I still feel him?' I asked myself_

_'Maybe you're losing you're nerve,' a voice rang out in my head_

_'Nonsense,' I replied, 'Its been 8 years and I've been fine for 6.'_

_'Keep telling yourself that dear,' the voice said chantingly._

I shook it off and made my way up the steps of the joke shop and let myself in, removing my cloak and scarf and placing them on the rack next to the door. It was warm and inviting inside and I couldn't help but look around with mild interest. Fred had been here once, making me laugh and its like he still was. i couldn't help but smile as I traced my fingers over the various items that would usually be bringing the upmost joy to me. there were some items I recognized and then a few new ones, which I figured had been developed later on. Was Fred still alive when he thought of these? I picked up a shiny object that caught my eye, which at first I thought was a dud since nothing happened, and then before my eyes a creature somewhat like a fairy formed in the palm of my hand. she was so tiny i was sure they was no such size, but I could make out her neat little dress in teal and her blue hair. She looked up at me with big brown eyes, that plainly said hello. I was so entranced by her, I hand't heard George come up behind me.

"Fairly lights," George replied, making me jump and turn around. The little fairy-like creature in my hand squeaked.

"Oh! George!." I caught my breath.

He smiled broadly,"Like I said, Fairly Lights. They only hatch to people they believe are worthy, which in your case, it seems you are. Once they hatch, they become attached to you and serve only you. They guide you when you need help the most, and they can pull peoples hair if you'd like. Their dead useful. That one's on me."

I looked down at the little light in my hand, "She's wonderful."

George walked over and retrieved a little silver ball and handed it to me.

"When she isn't in use, keep her in here. Its like a little house."

I opened the little ball, heard her squeak, and placed her safely inside.

"What a magnificent idea," I replied.

"I can't take all the credit, Fred invented them."

I looked up at George and I couldn't help but feel taken aback. I knew he wasn't Fred, but seeing that red hair and smile made me uneasy. As much as I hated to admit it, I rarely visited George because of this reason. As if sensing my feelings, George broke the silence.

"Come on upstairs, I have some food for us."

I nodded and followed him up a winding staircase which lead up to George and Angelina's apartment. It was spacious and a bit messy. The walls were a warm shade of copper, which I for some reason enjoyed. It reminded me of the fall. books and papers littered the floor and the dressers were scattered with various pictures smiling and waving, some including me, The Weasleys and Harry, Ron and Hermione. There was also one of Fred, which I immediately recognized as the one on my dresser at home. He was sitting in his frame sleeping.

"I have that picture," I stated as George arranged the table with food.

"I figured that much," he said and he gestured for me to sit down. I accepted his invitation and seated myself down in front of a plate of scones, which I began to nibble on. George followed suit.

"So how are you?" He said seriously.

I looked up at him, not putting my scone down.

"I'm fine," knowing he didn't believe me, "How is everything with you?"

"Things are going pretty well, got a lot of hot new items coming out. Angelina and me are considering expanding. I've got a great idea for improving on the lollipop pox. Great for kids at school to get back at bullies."

"Well it sounds like a terrific idea. I'd be sure to spread the word."

I grabbed the jam and began to spread it over my second scone.

"Are you thinking of going back to the Ministry?" George asked me,"I know everyone really misses you."

"I'm debating." I say

"What are you debating?"

"Things," I reply

"Like what?"

I place my scone on my plate and sigh. George looks at me seriously.

"Look, I know how you feel, I mean its different for a girl, but Fred was my brother you know? I know him and I know for a fact that this, to him, wouldn't be what he wanted. I'm not trying to scold you or whatever, but it isn't healthy for you. You have so much potential to do things. So, do them."

I try to take in what George just said, and I realize he's right, but no matter what I do its become easier said than done.

"its like he's still here," I whisper to George,"I see him everywhere. I've tried George, honestly." I look at him with desperation. I can't read his face.

"You aren't the only one, Vera," he says and I see the sadness in his eyes that I haven't seen except when Fred died. I nod and he hands me a sandwich. I decide to change the subject, because it isn't often I see him and I want to enjoy it.

"So? Lollipop Pox, huh?"


	4. Blast from the Past

__And if you are a ghost,__

_I'll call your name again..._

_-M83  
><em>

* * *

><p>I left George around 10, the little silver ball in my pocket. I needed to walk, even though it was dark out by then; my visit with George made my head spin. He was right about one thing; I needed to fully get over Fred, but that, unfortunately wasn't going to be easy. I needed help, and I needed to go back to work. I needed to be around people. I was losing my sanity.<p>

But, more than anything I needed someone to love me.

I continued walking back the way I came, wand out and listening to the sound of my own footsteps. It was cold and I draped my scarf around my neck more. It was only then that I saw a figure walking towards me. I gripped my wand tightly, clearly being paranoid, or was I? I felt a chill run down my spine as if something wasn't completely right. There was no one else around, and the footsteps they left behind one another were strangely uninviting. I began walking faster, so I could get past them quickly as we approached one another, not realizing I had dropped my bracelet that Fred had given me.

"Pardon me Miss, but I believe you dropped this," A man's voice said and I turned around to see him dangling my bracelet in front of me. I could make out his face clearly now. His skin was pale and sunken and his hair was brown and messy. It looked as if he hadn't eaten in days and he was rather tall. But his eyes were dark and sinister looking. I finally took his appearance in before finding my voice.

"Oh- er, right, thanks," I reached for it but he pulled back. I frowned in frustration.

"Not so fast, love. I think I deserve a reward, after all, what if some scumbag found this and sold it? I'm willing to give it back for a good price." I could see him leering at me through the dark.

I gripped my wand tightly, hiding it from view, "I don't think so, give it back to me or so help me God. You have no idea the amount of sentimental value that has."

He walked closer towards me until he was an inch from my face and I froze.

"Is that so? Let me guess? Someone dead gave this to you? That makes the price for me a whole lot higher."

SMACK

I felt my hand collide with the side of his face and heard my bracelet drop. I watched as the man stumbled and I dived for it.

_"STUPEFY!"_

A jet of red light blew past me and I looked up in horror as the man had his wand on me, mine at my side. There was no way I could arm myself in time, not when he was so close to me. My bracelet was clenched in my fist. It may have seemed stupid to an outsider to consider dying over it, but it was a part of Fred that I had left, and he had died for much more.

"Now, I'm going to ask nicely, give me that bracelet or die, your choice."

I looked at the man in disbelief. Was he insane? Clearly.

"Are you really that desperate?" I shouted, "That's pretty pathetic."

I the felt his fist against my head, saw stars and fell to the ground, my wand rolling man stepped over me.

"I tried to be nice, now you left me no choice," he raised his wand, "What a shame, your such a pretty thing."

I closed my eyes, realizing at that moment that I would have rather died, because in reality I would never be able to rid myself of the pain I held inside. This way, maybe I could be with Fred. I waited, my head splitting at where I was hit, but nothing happened. Just then I heard someone shout.

_"EXPELLIARMUS!"_

I heard the man yell in fury and then, _"STUPEFY!"_

I lifted my head up slowly and saw the man fall to the ground. Another figure, I couldn't make out kicked the man and picked up his wand. I tried sitting up, but my head hurt too much.

"Don't move, you'll make it worse," a soft voice that sounded vaguely familiar spoke to me. My eyes were blurry,"You'll be okay, I'm here to help you Vera."

How did they know my name? I squinted in the dark, raising my hands to the persons face.

"Your safe now." They said.

I let my arms fall, having no strength to hold them up, and that's when I could of sworn I saw him.

"Fred?" And I blacked out.

* * *

><p><em>Everyone was screaming. I saw jets of light fly past me. I had to find Fred. I had to find him. My head was spinning and clouds of smoke from the explosions stung my eyes. I heard my name. It was his voice.<em>

* * *

><p>I awoke to the sound of birds chirping and a ray of light grazing my face. A stuffy burgundy couch held me up, though i felt the softness of it and for some reason I just wanted to stay there. I tried to sit up, forgetting that I had my head was throbbing. I remembered then what had happened last night. That scumbag had tried to not only rob me, but kill me, until someone had saved me. But who was it? I rubbed my eyes and looked around to see countless shelves of books and elegant armchairs and rugs that looked as if they were imported from Arabia. The room looked as if it was overcome with some sheet of darkness except for the light that came through the blinds. It gave an aura of familiarity that I couldn't explain. Who had saved me? How had they known my name? Just then my thoughts were interrupted by a loud crack. A house elf with long droopy ears and wide purple eyes stood before me, but she wore a flowery dress with pink socks which struck me as odd. House elves were set free this way.<p>

"Excuse me miss, but the master wishes to speak with you. I was instructed to take you to him."

I stood up slowly, so not to make my head spin more before talking to her.

"Er- right, and who do I have the pleasure of addressing?"

The elf blushed at being talked to like this, "My name is Holly, Miss."

I nodded and she beckoned me to follow her down a long hall and down a flight of winding stairs. I knew then that I was inside a house of great proportion. A glass chandelier hung from the ceiling and dozens of portraits of what I assumed were family members, hung in gold frames draped against the walls. They all slept soundly. We reached the bottom step and two large doors were directly on the left hand side. Holly opened them and put out her hand, gesturing me to go in. That's when a man I couldn't see spoke.

"Thank you, Holly. You may leave."

I watched her go, desperate for her to stay. What if this man planned on hurting me, even though he had saved me I still didn't know who he was or what his intentions were. As if he could read my mind he spoke once more.

"Don't be frightened, i'm not going to hurt you. You were hurt so I brought you here to keep you safe. Your free to leave whenever you'd like."

My head seemed to be clouded, "Where am I? Who are you?"

It was then at that moment that my heart dropped. I was unprepared as the man stood up and walked towards me, smiling.

I was looking into the 25 year-old face of Draco Malfoy.


	5. Where You Gonna Sleep Tonight?

_I had a way then losing it all on my own_

_I had a heart then but the queen has been overthrown_

_And I'm not sleeping now the dark is too hard to beat_

_And I'm not keeping now the strength I need to push me_

_-Ellie Goulding, Lights_

* * *

><p>"Malfoy?" she stuttered, "You saved me?"<p>

He smiled slightly.

"Well, I very well couldn't have let you die. How are you feeling?"

I sat myself down in a nearby armchair.

"Confused, actually. You're the last person I expected to see."

I saw him frown.

"I didn't have to save you, you know. But I'm not the arrogant arse I use to be, thank you very much."

I then felt foolish.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I'm grateful, really. Its just unexpected, that's all."

He nodded and sat himself down at his desk. As he did so, I studied him. He had't changed much, maybe except for getting taller and his face was more defined. His hair was still blonde, but it seemed he didn't slick it back as much anymore. His eyes, which I hated to admit, captivated me even though we had been enemies, were still light grey and haunting. He must of noticed me looking at him because he broke the silence.

"So, you work for the Ministry, correct? The Daily Prophet? I've read your articles and I must say, they are very…intriguing."

"I've taken time off from the Ministry," I began,"I've mostly been writing from home. What have you been doing?"

"I do some undercover work for the Ministry here and there, but I'm mainly an investor now. I inherited a lot of fortune from my family. My mother and father live in a penthouse not to far from Venice. Its just me and Holly here now." I could of sworn I heard a hint of sadness in his voice, but I'm sure i had just imagined it.

But somehow i felt like he was…._different._

"Are you hungry by any chance, or thirsty? I'm sure you are after what you've been through."

I nodded at him, grateful that he offered.

"Follow me then, the dining room is just across the hall."

He lead the way out of the study and guided me to a what looked more like a dining hall than a room. I knew then that I had probably not imagined the sadness in his voice. The size of this room by itself made me feel alone. But, he was Draco Malfoy. An arrogant, stuck up, only cares about blood, jerk. Wasn't he? Then again, those days were over and the war was over…but had many people actually changed?

"Something wrong?" He asked making my head snap up to look at him.

"No, nothing." I said, trying to force a smile.

He seemed to accept it.

"Holly can bring you anything you want and your also, more than welcome to stay here the night if you don't feel safe to travel yet. You also took quite a blow, and Holly thinks you should't even be up and around yet, but I told her that you are pretty strong."

I looked at him oddly. Had he just called me strong? Yes, that wasn't my imagination.

"Um-er- thank you."

He began to walk away when I called after him.

"Wait, your not staying?" and he stopped walking abruptly.

"I'm afraid I can't, I have a lot of business to attend to. But, feel free to use Holly to reach me."

The way he spoke was different than the Draco Malfoy I had once known and I couldn't put my finger on it. I felt strange, yet safe by his presence and more than anything, I wanted him to stay with me. Yes, clearly I was losing my mind.

"Why are you helping me?" I asked as he turned his back on me once more, "You hate me, and Harry and the lot of us."

He didn't turn around when he spoke to me, but kept his back turned as if he didn't want me to see his face. As if it was contorted with some kind of pain.

"People change, Vera. Just like you."

And with that he left me alone, feeling something I had never felt before for him. Understanding.

* * *

><p>"Is Miss sure she would not like anything?" Holly asked me for the 5th time. I sat alone at the table reading a book I had taken from the mass shelves upstairs. The selection was very appealing and I was surprised to see that there were muggle books.<p>

"No, Holly. I'm quite alright, thank you, though."

I looked up at her massive violet eyes and she starred at me.

"Miss is sad."

It wasn't a question but a statement.

"What do you mean," I asked putting my book aside.

Holly shook her head in disapproval,"I see's my master with the same look sometimes."

So she did consider him her master. So then why was she wearing clothes? Unless she was set free and liked staying with Malfoy, which I couldn't believe. Maybe he payed her like Dumbledore had payed Dobby. She stopped. It hurt to think about poor Dobby and especially, Dumbledore.

"Im alright, Holly. I'm just thinking about the past too much, and as for Malfoy, what does he have to be sad about. He seems to have a pretty good life."

"Alas!" the elf cried out,"My master is very lonely! He was engaged to and evil…well, anyway, she stabbed him in the heart! But don't tell my master I told you this!"

I nod, not believing that Malfoy was stood up,"Of course not."

"Ill be going now Miss! Ill see you later." and a loud crack fills the room.

I pick up my book and remove myself from the table, heading to Malfoy's study. Although he said he had work, he hadn't really implied that he shouldn't be disturbed and I was never much one for rules. I had dated Fred after all. I approach the twin doors and knock softly, hoping he doesn't shout at me, and receive a soft 'come in.'

"Erm, sorry to disturb you, but I was wondering if we could talk?" I asked dumbly.

He simply nods, "Why don't you have a seat?"

"Thanks," and I walk over to a stuffy black armchair, not noticing him eyeing the book in my hand.

"Dorian Gray? Interesting choice. I find Oscar Wilde to be very cynical."

It was a good thing the chair was there to hold me up, because disbelief was evident.

"You, you've read it? I was actually very surprised to see muggle books in your collection."

He shrugged,"I realized after a while that muggles aren't so bad. I wish I had known you liked literature so much back then, when I wasn't an arse."

I laughed,"Yea. I read a lot. I remember this one day I tried to get Fred to-" but I stopped suddenly, because talking about Fred with Malfoy was something I never anticipated and he takes notice.

"Its okay if you want to talk about it. I know about, you know, what happened back then. I was at the funeral."

I look up at him, forgetting that he had been there. Everyone had been and I had gone crazy and tried to bury myself with Fred. Not my finest moment.

"I-I can't talk about it." I stutter.

"Because I am me?" he asks.

"No, because it hurts too much." I say, never thinking that would be the reason over him being Malfoy.

"So its better to just keep it inside, is that it?" and I hear a hint of anger somewhere in his voice.

"Well, what about you?" I reply back, my voice slightly raised,"Are you keeping anything bottled up?"

He smirks that smirk that I relish so much. The one that tortured me and the rest of us for years. Classic Malfoy.

"We aren't talking about me, we are talking about you. I'm here to help you, but if you want to be ungrateful, then go right ahead."

I starred at him in disbelief. In 24 hours, maybe less or more, I couldn't think, I had people tell me to move on, was almost killed, saw Fred, was rescued by Malfoy and was now being insulted by him.

"How dare you!" I shouted.

"Pardon?"

I didn't know where this anger was coming from, but all I knew was that I was feeling my blood burn.

"You think you can just ask me about my personal life because you saved me? You think that after years of torture that you can judge me? So yea, maybe you have changed, but big deal! But don't you stand there and call me ungrateful when i've given up more than you could even realize!"

The silence was so chilling and I could of sworn i could hear his heartbeat. I waited for him to yell at me, to tell me i was crazy, but he didn't. Just looked at me with those grey eyes i found undeniably…sexy. Wait, what?

"I'm sorry." He said after what seemed like forever.

"What?" I thought I had misheard.

"I said I'm sorry. I don't know what you've been through and it was wrong of me to…assume."

I felt myself become normal again.

"Oh, well-alright. I'm sorry for raising my voice."

"It's okay. Are you tired?"

"Yes, actually, now that I think about it."

He reaches for his wand and waves it in the air. In less than a second Holly appears at the door.

"Holly will take you to your room, and your free to leave in the morning."

I look at him, wondering if I should say something else, but I can't think of anything. I simply nod and begin to walk over to the door. That's when he spoke again.

"You called me Fred."

I feel myself freeze and I turn back to him.

"I what?"

"Before you blacked-out. You called me Fred. Why?"

I tear myself away from his gaze, because I feel my eyes welling up.

"I don't know what your talking about," I say in complete denial and slam the door behind me.

_I had seen him._


	6. Figments and Feelings

_"Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me"_

_-the scientist, coldplay_

* * *

><p><em>December 1994<em>

_"Who are you going to the ball with guys?" I asked Harry, Ron and Hermione during study period in the Great Hall. The Yule Ball was approaching and I still didn't have a date. _

_"Haven't asked anyone yet." Harry replied looking at Ron. I knew he was hoping to ask Cho Chang._

_"What about you?" Hermione asked me in a hushed tone, not to be overheard by Snape. _

_I shook my head."Nothing yet." The truth was I was secretly hoping Fred was going to ask me._

_"I don't know," Ron began in a somewhat arrogant tone,"Say Hermione? Your a girl right? Well, I mean its okay for a guy to go alone, but for a girl its kind of sad. Go with me?"_

_I saw anger appear in Hermione's face and I knew Ron had said the wrong thing._

_"I'll have you know I can't go with you, because someone's already asked me!"She stood up quickly and handed Proffesor Snape her essay before returning to grab her things angrily._

_"And I said YES!" she spat at Ron quietly._

_I watch her storm off before I hear someone calling my name in a whisper._

_"Oi! Vera!"_

_I look over to see Fred waving at me. I feel my heart in my chest._

_"What?" I whisper back at him, trying to contain my joy._

_I see him smile and then he makes a movement with his arms to insinuate dancing and then points to himself. I felt as if I had been lifted off the ground. He was asking me to the ball! I return the smile as I whisper yes back at him and then return to my essay, which I could no longer focus on._

_"I'll see you guys later." I say to Harry and Ron, no longer able to sit say bye rather reluctantly to me and I feel Fred's eyes on me as I exit. Me and Fred had become interested in each other when I was in Second Year, but we never became serious up until the beginning of Fourth Year. I was hopelessly in love with him, but had never admitted it, hoping he would tell me first. I think about the color of his hair, the playfulness in his eyes, the softness of his lips…..I wanted to kiss him at that moment. Everything in life was ten times better when I was with him. Everything made sense. I felt myself become suffocated by thoughts of him as I reached the portrait hole, gave the password and entered the common room. Hermione wasn't there so I took a seat next to the fire and curled up, thinking about the Yule Ball. I wondered if Fred knew how lucky I thought I was at that moment._

* * *

><p><em>December 1994, Yule Ball<em>

_He looked so handsome. He called me beautiful. I felt his breathe on my lips as he cupped my face, inching closer. I felt his lips on mine and time stopped. It was just me and him and I wanted it. I wanted him forever._

_"I want you always," he whispered in my ear after we broke apart held me so close and I buried my face in his chest, inhaling the sweet scent of him._

_"Forever." I responded._

* * *

><p><em>May 1998<em>

_"Today we lay to rest, Fred Weasley. A brother, a friend, a son, and a lover. Nothing we do can ever change what has happened, but Fred will not have died in vain. He will live on forever in our hearts and minds….."_

_I was zoning out. It wasn't real. None of it was. I was asleep and everyone here were just figments. Fred would be there when I woke up. He would hold me and stroke my hair and tell me how much he loved me and we would be happy. I open my eyes and I felt myself tremble with grief and I couldn't see out of my eyes due to the water blurring my vision. I lift my head up and finally see the coffin in front of me and know I'm not dreaming. And suddenly, I'm no longer here. I feel my body fall the ground and hear voices yelling, but I don't know what. All I hear is my voice screaming for him to come back over and over again. Someone tries to pull me up and I feel myself try to fight them off. I wouldn't leave him. _

_And he wasn't suppose to leave me….._

* * *

><p>My body hurt as I sat up straight in bed rubbing my head. It took me a minute to remember that I wasn't home, but in the guest bedroom at Malfoy Manor. A silver ray of light from the moon shown through the window, letting me know that once again I had another nightmare. I sighed as I laid back, staring at the shadows on the ceiling, wondering if Malfoy also had trouble sleeping. The softness of the sheets consumed me as I closed my eyes. I would have been happy to lay here forever, locked in this room away from everything, but I knew I couldn't. I listened to the sound of crickets outside, trying to drift back to sleep, until I heard something else. It wasn't coming from outside, but in the room itself. A sort of echo. I opened my eyes and sat up, straining my ears to hear, not even knowing what was about to happen.<p>

"Vera…" A voice whispered.

I backed up against the bed in fear. I had heard my name as clear as day, I wasn't imagining it. Something had called my name…or better yet, someone. I reached for my wand on the night table and ignited it, waving it around as I slowly exited the bed, but there was nothing there.

"H-Hello?" I cried out.

Nothing

"Who's there?"

Still nothing.

"Look this isn't funny. If that's you Malfoy, cut it out!"

And then I felt someone touch my shoulder and I froze.

_Because I knew that touch._

Breathing heavily, I turned around and raised my wand in front of me, preparing for what was coming. But, nothing could have prepared me for what happened at that moment. There, as if he was still alive, stood Fred, the same as I remembered him. I dropped my wand and tried to scream, but nothing came out. My heart was in my throat and i felt myself stumble backwards away from him. After all this time, yearning for him, I felt myself rejecting the figure in front of me. He reached for me as he opened his mouth to speak to me. It sounded as if there was an echo and his voice was soft and soothing. His expression, however, was one of worry. I closed my eyes and then opened them, thinking I was just imagining, but he was still there.

"_You have to stop this_."

And as he moved towards me I felt my self cry out and shut my eyes once more, feeling tears coming.

"STOP IT! THIS ISNT REAL!"I heard the bedroom door fly open and opened my eyes to see Malfoy standing there, his eyes wide. I shifted my gaze from him, then to where Fred had been standing, but he had vanished, and I felt my knees go weak. Malfoy caught me before I hit the floor.

"Vera, what happened?" he sounded genuinely worried. I shook my head. I could't speak, all I could do was burst into even more tears as he held me. I didn't care that I was in my nightgown, or that he was Malfoy at that moment. I didn't care about anything. All I could do was try to look into my mind to make sure I wasn't going crazy, but I was pretty sure I was. Fred was _dead…..and he was never coming back. _So what had just happened?

"Come on," Malfoy said, lifting me up,"You can stay in my room."

I once again found my voice, but it was shaky,"W-What? You mean with you?"

I looked up to see him smile slightly,"Well, yes that would be the general idea wouldn't it? But no, I'll sleep on the floor. You can have my bed tonight."

I was too tired and depressed to wonder why he was being so nice to me, and I certainly wasn't going to refuse either. I nodded weakly as he lead me from the guest bedroom to his room. It was very spacious and had a lovely fire place under the mantle that was engraved with old-world designs. The bed was laid with soft sheets of black, that looked very inviting, and the walls were covered in what look liked marble wallpaper. He lead me over to the bed that I secretly couldn't wait to get into and put the covers over me. I couldn't take my eyes off him in this light. He was so incredibly handsome. His jaw and cheekbones were so defined, as if they had been sculpted into his face. His lips were rosy and his blonde hair glistened. I couldn't believe I was mesmerized by him after what I had just saw, that my brain was focusing on him, over Fred.

"Do you need anything else?" He asked, snapping me out of my trance.

"No," I sighed.

"Do you want to talk about it?"I looked at him, feeling the pain in my heart, wanting so desperately to tell him, because I felt that if I told Ron, or Hermione or anyone else for that matter, they would think I was losing my nerve. Somehow I felt that Malfoy wouldn't.

"Maybe later."I felt myself yawn and Malfoy removed himself from the side of his bed. He took out his wand and conjured up a sleeping bag and pillow and it landed with a soft swoosh onto the carpet at the foot of the bed.

"If you need anything, just wake me up," He stated, before disappearing from view, after turning the lights off.

I sat up a few more seconds before finally laying my head against the soft pillow and looked out the window. He had been there, it was so real and he had spoke to me, as I remembered what he had said.

_"You have to stop this."_

I closed my eyes and rolled over, snuggling deep into the sheets, hoping to receive some sort of comfort. The day Fred first kissed me, being my last thought before I fell asleep.

* * *

><p>I awoke to the smell of bacon at around 10 a.m. Stretching and yawning, I exited the bed to find Malfoy missing, but my wand was laying at the edge of the bed. I then remembered I had dropped last night when I supposedly saw Fred. I picked it up and with a quick wave, clothed and groomed myself. I didn't bother looking in the mirror, considering I probably looked horrible from lack of sleep, but made my way down to the dining room. I found Malfoy sitting down with a cup of coffee reading the paper. He looked up when I entered and set his mug down.<p>

"Good morning. Sleep any better?"Holly pulled a chair out for me and I sat myself down close to him, grabbing some coffee as well.

"A little, thanks." as I added sugar and cream he laid his paper down and began to butter a piece of toast. I looked at him while I stirred my coffee.

"Look, I-I really appreciate everything you've done, and if you ever need me to return the favor, just let me know." I said lamely.

Surprisingly he he laughed, "Don't worry about it, but if I ever do, I'll let you know."He looked at the clock on the mantle as I sipped out of my mug."I'm afraid I'll have to be going soon. I have to head off to France to meet some clients. I hate it there, but they really know how to bargain."

I set my mug down on the table and nodded,"Yea, I should probably get home. Everyone's probably worried about me. I told Hermione I'd send her an owl the other day."

I grabbed a muffin and Malfoy starred at me."How are they all?"

I choked on the piece I just put in my mouth,"What? Oh, everyone's fine, thanks. Hermione and Ginny are going to be mother's."I delivered the last line with obvious longing. Malfoy folded his hands under his chin, surveying me and it made me uncomfortable.

"What are you looking at?"

"Oh nothing."

"Liar."

He ran his fingers through his messy hair, "I was just wondering if maybe, you were going to tell me what exactly happened last night."

I suddenly lost my appetite, and pushed the muffin away from me."Why is it so important to you? Its not like we're ever going to be around each other again."

He frowned, "Why do you say that?"

"Because-I-what?" I asked breathlessly confused.

"What if I want to see you again?"My head hurt again. Was he asking me out?

"I ,well, why?"

He stood up and retrieved his hat from the rack behind him and placed it on his head."Nevermind, I'm being absurd."

He grabbed his coat and for some reason after he said that I felt hurt. For some_ reason_ I felt like he was becoming my friend and I could tell him things I couldn't tell anyone else.

"I'd like that," I piped up suddenly, taking myself by surprise. He looked at me like I had four heads, and nodded.

"Well, I'm off. Take care Vera. I suppose I'll see you soon." and with a loud crack he vanished.

I removed myself from the table and grabbed my clothes from the other day that Holly had washed for me and put on my coat and scarf as well.

"Miss must promise me she will be careful," a squeaky voice said behind me and I turned around to see Holly starring at me sadly.

I leaned down on my knees so I was at level with her and smiled slightly."I assure you, I'll do my best to try."

She shook her head at me warningly, "Miss doesn't understand! Miss is in danger!"

I felt my heart skip,"What do you mean? Holly if you know something about me, please tell me."

She shook her head more violently, "I cannot! I cannot! Please ask me no more!"

And before I could ask her anything else, she disappeared. I stood up and tried to rack my brain at what was going on. Everything was happening so quickly, one thing after another. Spiraling. How was I in danger? I didn't have any enemies anymore and I wasn't anyone of great importance, except when I had been at school with Harry. But I knew Holly wasn't a liar and if that was the case I needed help.

_I needed my golden trio._


	7. In My Veins

_Oh, you're in my veins, and I cannot get you out_

_Oh, you're all I taste, at night inside of my mouth_

_Oh, you run away, cause I am not what you found_

_Oh, you're in my veins, and I cannot get you out_

_-Andrew Belle, in my veins_

* * *

><p><em>"Dear Hermione,<em>

_I'm sorry I couldn't send you an owl the other day, but something came up. I was wondering if it was possible to see you, Ron and Harry as soon as possible. I really need to talk to you three. Please send Esma back with an answer as soon as you can _

_lots of love,_

_Vera_

_P.S- My visit with George went very well. It was so good to see him."_

I read over the letter one last time before I gave it to Esma, who was more than happy to deliver it, having missed me the other day. I apologized to her a million times before she finally nipped me affectionately. I watched her take flight before I made my way downstairs to make some tea, the sun shining brightly through the windows. The orange glow, reminding me of Fred's hair.

'Stop that,' I said to myself,'Stop thinking about Fred all the time. You'll give yourself a nosebleed.'

I filled the kettle up with water and placed it onto the stove, using my wand to ignite the flame. I watched as it burned for a few moments before opening up the window to let some of the cold air in. I allowed it to blow on my face as I watched children play in the snow that covered the ground. Their laughter was almost contagious. I couldn't help but smile as I watched a little boy with blonde hair get hit with a snowball thrown by a little girl with brown hair.

"No fair, Ariella! That's cheating!" he yelled and the little girl just laughed.

I turned away, wishing I was one of the kids with them. The kettle began whistling and I poured the hot liquid into my favorite mug. I could still hear the children laughing as I unscrewed the honey cap. I always put too much in. I grabbed some crackers from the counter and made my way over to the couch, where my cat, Chess slept. She hardly ever moved or made a sound and sometimes I thought she was dead. I checked to make sure she was still, in fact breathing before sitting down. Her eye opened slightly to see who it was invading her space, and then closed them after seeing me. As if she expected to see anyone else. I turned on the Tele and attempted to find something watchable on, maybe an old movie, but decided to settle on some documentary. I yawned loudly, trying to stifle it seeing as it was only 4 p.m and I wasn't planning on going to bed this early. I had turned into an old lady over time. I hardly ever went out anymore and I always ended up falling asleep at 10 p.m. It was hard for me to try to find joy in things and I knew no one would want to be around me when I was like that, hell, I didn't even want to be around me.

Becoming quite bored with the program I chose, I shut the Tele off and made my way over to my desk, which was littered with papers and quills. The waste basket was full from things I decided were not fit to become anything and most of my ink bottles were empty. I hadn't even done much writing and everything I wrote, I threw out. I was disgusted by my work so far and kept racking my brain for help, but for some reason, it wasn't there. That was my fault. I sighed heavily and tried to organize the mess in front of me, separating the blank pieces of paper from the used ones and the broken quills from the good ones. I retrieved my wand from my pocket and vanished the trash that was overflowing, before sitting down in the chair. I picked up a quill hesitantly and began to write, catching myself by surprise. As if a muse had taken over, I suddenly felt a twinge of inspiration.

_Here I stand, enclosed in sorrow,_

_Waiting until today turns to 'morrow._

_Are you lonely? I am lost,_

_I cannot get my thoughts across._

_I heard a voice calling, I heard my name,_

_I sometimes wonder if I'm still sane._

_And all the while I try to smile, to be happy and rid denial_

_And so I walk a winding road, will I ever come back home?_

I looked over the poem in front of me and couldn't help but smile. Although it was melancholy, I had to admit it was very good. It was a start at least. I laid the paper down, staring at it for a few more minutes before I felt a chill. I looked behind me, forgetting I had left the window open. With a wave of my wand it shut itself and I returned my eyes to my paper, but I still felt the chill. I turned back around to the window, which remained closed and then around the room. With no sign of anything, I picked up the paper and read the lines out loud to myself, trying to get it even more imbedded in my brain, but I couldn't stop wondering:

_Why was I so cold?_

_"You really should right happier stuff." _Fred's voice rang out and I nearly fell of my chair. I grabbed my wand tightly in my hand and looked around the room, but he wasn't there. But I had heard him, just like I did before, as clear as day.

"Fred?" I called out, still looking around me. I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach because the feeling was overwhelming.

After 10 minutes of calling his name, I gave up, praying that I was seriously imagining it, and then again, hoping I wasn't. I attempted to write for a couple more hours, I yanked Chess off the couch and dragged her upstairs with me, her black fur blending in with the night. She protested at my disturbing her, but I didn't really care much. She hardly ever slept with me anymore and tonight I could have really used the company.

"Stop whining, Chess. My bed is more comfortable anyway."

I could see the cat's green eyes look up at me in agreement as we made it upstairs and walked into my room. The laundry was piling up and I hadn't even made my bed from the previous days before. I put Chess on the floor and allowed her to skulk away as I took my wand out and cleaned everything up. It would have taken a muggle forever and yet I was still lazy even when I had my wand. I fell face first onto my bed, Chess hissing at me, and didn't move for several minutes. I really and truly wanted to go back to work this month, seeing as I had told myself I needed to be around people. Perhaps I would bring it up with Harry, Ron and Hermione when I saw them; I already knew they would be all for it, thinking that what I was doing now was unhealthy. Maybe, and I hated myself for thinking about Fred again, but if he was here with me, maybe he would want me to as well. George certainly did. I felt appreciated for a moment when I thought about everyone I still had. I knew I had the others and I loved them with all my heart, but why was I still feeling a void. I had people that were concerned for me. Maybe I just wasn't concerned for myself. Everyone was right.

"Remind me to kick George in the arse next time I see him, Chess." I said muffled to the fat cat I knew was next to me.

_"Good idea, give him one from me too…" I heard Fred'd voice say. _It was so unexpected that I looked up to see him standing there at the foot of my bed, smiling at me. When I tried to scramble up, I fell off the other side onto the floor, hard.

"Ow." I said, unable to get anything else out. With my back throbbing, I slowly peeked over the bed, only to find Fred sitting there, looking at me with amusement.

_"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, but that was pretty funny."_

All I could do was stare at him with wide eyes, my throat constricted. _He was there. On my bed._ And no matter how many times I closed and opened my eyes, he was stood there. He didn't look much like a ghost, but I swore if I had tried to touch him, he would have vanished.

_"Yea, its really me. Please don't scream like last time. That really hurt my feelings," he said the last part sarcastically,"Actually, it just really hurt my ears."_

Slowly, and cautiously, I got up off the floor and walked around the bed, keeping myself at a distance. I couldn't believe this. It was impossible. What if this was some kind of trick? Dumbledore had told me that nothing could bring the dead back, but yet here he was, sitting on my bed. I opened my mouth but my voice sounded as if I hadn't drank anything in days.

"H-how are you here right now? This has to be a dream. A really amazing, terrifying dream."

Fred just looked at me and then beckoned me to come closer. My feet remained rooted to the spot, because I couldn't seem to work them. I was paralyzed by the person before me.

_"I'm not going to bite you, you know?" He mused._

I still didn't move,"You still look like your alive."

_"Well," he began,"I think that's your doing."_

I finally felt my legs move towards him and I reached my hand out to touch him, but then pulled back."My doing? I don't understand."

_"You loved me so much when I was alive, that you've held onto me still." _He stood up so that he was inches from me and I felt my heart skip a beat. He looked at me intensely with those brown eyes I could never get out of my mind. I stared back at him as he reached his hand up to cup the side of my face. I felt a shock run through my body and I closed my eyes. But his hand was cold, the warmth I once knew, evaporated. And still, I longed for it.

"No matter what I do, I always see your face. I don't want to forget you."

I opened my eyes and he was still staring at me, but he smiled,_"Why do you always have to be so stubborn?"_

I felt tears begin to form from my eyes, but I couldn't help but laugh too. In all the years he was gone, here he was, as if nothing had ever changed. As if we were kids again and our life hadn't started yet, the war never started. I felt myself breathing heavily, trying to make the moment last and when I closed my eyes again and opened them, he was gone. I looked around the room wildly, trying to see where he had gone, but only saw Chess cowering in a corner. It wasn't a dream, and after what had happened, I knew I wasn't insane. He was still here with me and as long as I still loved him, I could keep him.

_Was I selfish?_


	8. Promise Me

_Hold my wine hold it in_

_Nobody's lost but nobody wins_

_-Azure Ray, Sleep_

* * *

><p>"So what's all this about?" Hermione asks me as she drinks her tea.<p>

Ron and Harry stare at me intently. I find myself fidgeting on the couch in Ron and Hermione's living room and I suddenly wish she hadn't responded so quickly to my letter. But, that was Hermione. Always punctual. I hadn't even thought out exactly how I would explain what had happened to me. I felt the warmth of the tea in my hand as I looked up at all three of them. I smiled in my head then. Seeing them together was a site for sore eyes.

I took a deep breath before speaking."So, something happened to me recently, well, a couple of things. Please don't think I'm mad when I tell you. You guys are the only ones I know I can trust. We've been thru so much-"

"Vera, just get on with it," Ron smiled, interrupting me.

"You know we won't think any less of you," Harry began,"Whatever it is, we'll listen."

"Yes, it can't be that bad," Hermione added.

I felt a knot in my throat and shook my head,"That's just it, it is. Its mad."

They didn't speak so I swallowed and went on."After I went to see George the other day, I was walking back and I was attacked."

Hermione nearly dropped her tea and the other two looked grim, but I went on, giving them a summary of what happened.

"Anyway, I ended up pretty defenseless and he was about to kill me and then someone saved me. Right before I blacked out I-I swear I saw Fred."

I had to force the last part out and I didn't dare look at them. The silence was making me uneasy and I made myself look up at them. They didn't look mad, just confused and I knew they thought I was crazy.

"We're just glad you're alright," Harry finally said, not acknowledging the last part,"But, who saved you? We really need to thank them."

I set my tea down, forgetting it was in my hand,"Um, well, Malfoy did."

"Malfoy? As in bloody Draco Malfoy?" Ron yelled.

I saw Hermione roll her eyes,"Ron, how many Malfoy's do we know?"

"He's changed," I blurted out,"He saved my life and took care of me."

"Yea, I'm sure he's a saint now,"Ron snapped.

"The war is over Ron," Harry replied, getting up and pacing around the room,"So are you trying to say that you two are dating or something?"

I nearly choked, did they not hear the part about me seeing Fred?

"What? No! Look, I'm telling you that while I was at Malfoy Manor (Ron huffed) something unbelievable happened and it happened the other day. Did you not hear what I said earlier on? I saw Fred! He touched me, he even talked to me!"

None of them said anything and Ron wasn't looking at me. I wondered if he hated me then for talking about his dead brother in such a manner. I threw my arms up in defeat. Clearly I wasn't getting anywhere.

"Vera," Hermione spoke and grabbed my hand,"Are you certain you weren't dreaming?"

I removed my hand from her's,"You think I'm crazy? You think its not possible?"

"No!" Hermione said quickly,"I-I just think that maybe you're just tired and that's whats causing this."

I was starting to feel angry,"I'm not tired! I saw him. I know its impossible for the dead to come back, but Fred told me its because I'm hanging onto him. That is possible isn't it? I mean, Harry's seen his parents and other people!"

"That was because of the wand connection in the graveyard in fourth year, Vera. The other was a mirror and the resurrection stone," Harry said leaning against the wall,"This-I don't know."

"My brother is dead," Ron said, neither angry nor sad,"He isn't coming back."

I couldn't believe that they didn't believe me. My three best friends in the whole world thought I was bonkers. I was starting to think that perhaps I should have told Malfoy and the only other person besides him that would believe me was Luna. I felt hurt and betrayed and didn't feel like sitting here looking like an idiot. Harry walked back over and sat down, making me look dead at him.

"Something else happened didn't it?"

I had almost forgot about what Holly had told me about being in danger. I didn't want to tell them, seeing as I was so mad, but I knew I needed their help and I knew they still loved me. I told them in detail about my conversation with the little elf, and neither could figure out why I would be in danger. There hadn't been any major dark activity since the fall of Voldemort.

"We should still keep an eye out, if that is the case," Ron stated,"I mean, you were already attacked once."

"That was just some low life. Holly made it seem like it was something bigger."

"Well, I'd feel better knowing someone was looking after you. Why don't you stay with us for a while?" Harry suggested.

I thought about it for a moment. How nice it would be to be around Ginny. I suddenly remembered about telling them I wanted to go back to the Ministry.

"Oh, one more thing. I was thinking about coming back to work this week."

They all smiled unanimously and it freaked me out.

"Brilliant!" Hermione said,"About time! Its been so boring without you!"

"What made you change you're mind?" Harry asked.

I picked up a biscuit and examined it before taking a bite,"Some things and George mostly."

"Good show,"Ron beamed,"Harry's become a git. He's taken on you're role as pain in the arse."

I laughed, surprisingly,"Well, I intend to defend my title."

I tuned them out as Harry and Ron argued playfully, Hermione laughing. Suddenly I wasn't so concerned about them not believing me about Fred. Secretly, I had intended to contact Malfoy, but, I wouldn't tell them that. I knew they would try to stop me and I wasn't going to lose the only person that may believe me.

"I have not become a git," Harry's voice came into focus to me, "At least I don't snog with Ginny in the supply closet secretly."

Ron and Hermione blushed.

* * *

><p>I packed my things up the very same day and prepared to depart to Harry and Ginny's. After 20 minutes of trying to stuff Chess into her cage, I finally gave up and used force, meaning my wand. I knew she would be mad at me for days that she had to travel by cage, when Esma got to fly. She looked up at me with pure disgust.<p>

"You know, you're lucky I keep you around with the way you behave," I shouted at turned her.

She turned her head away, leaving me huffing loudly. I took one last look around the room to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything, only to find that I had left my quill and notebook downstairs.

"For heaven's sake. _Accio quill! Accio notebook!_"

I waved my wand and within seconds the items I summoned zoomed into my suitcase. I zipped it up with another quick wave of my wand and sat down on my bed, taking deep breaths. I thought about the letter I was going to send to Malfoy, wondering if it was the right thing. Wondering if I should just move on. It felt good to be around the others and laugh a little, even though they didn't believe me entirely. I could go back to work and maybe meet someone. Okay, maybe that wasn't going to happen. I sincerely thought that I would never meet anyone like Fred. He had been my life, my heart, my everything. How could I even consider replacing him?

"If your in here, I hope you know what your doing to me," I called out. I was getting use to seeing him around, and now I was hoping he was there.

He didn't show up when I yelled and I felt myself sigh heavily. It was like some kind of drug having him so near to me. I needed him constantly, but knew I shouldn't have him. I was so hopelessly confused on what to do that I felt as if my brain was melting. In the end I decided that I should talk to Malfoy. I needed to get everything off my chest about Fred. Standing up, I gathered my things and prepared to disapparate. That's when I heard his voice in my head.

_"I'll follow you. Don't worry."_

I made sure the strap on my bag was secure before I spoke.

"Until the end. Remember?"

And then I was gone.

* * *

><p><em>March 1995<em>

"_That Umbridge woman is foul," I said angrily to Fred as we walked on the bridge. She had given Fred, George and Lee detention for setting off dungbombs in the corridor. I had participated, but Fred had told her I had nothing to do with it and I was surprised she bought it. My hero. I took Fred's hand in mine and examined the words that had been etched into the back of it._

_'I must pay for my actions.'_

_I couldn't believe this woman was seen as some kind of educator in Fudge's eyes. Did he really not know how sick and twisted she was?_

_"Its nothing, Vera," Fred smiled and removed his hand from mine,"She'll pay, don't worry."_

_"I always worry about you," I smiled back,"And what are you planning?"_

_He shook his finger in front of my face as if scolding a child,"Nuh-Uh. Can't give away all my secrets, you know."_

_I hit him,"C'mon Fred! That's not fair!"_

_He scooped me up in his arms and kissed me. When he let go all I wanted was for him to come back._

_"Me and George are probably going to leave soon." He said, suddenly serious._

_I looked at him with wide eyes,"What? When were you going to tell me this?"_

_"I was waiting for the right time," he said, looking out into the distance._

_I __turned away from him, feeling hurt. I knew he was 2 years ahead of me and he would have left eventually, but he wasn't suppose to leave me here. Not yet. _

_"Is it because of Umbridge?" I asked, still not looking at him._

_"Partly. Me and George just realized that we don't really have any more need for an education, since we are going to open a joke shop."_

_I looked up to see him standing in front of me and I wondered how he did this without me noticing._

_"You can't leave me alone here with that awful woman."_

_The corner of his mouth raised,"You have the others and the D.A. needs you. Hogwarts needs you. Who else is going to fend that old wart off?"_

_I felt a little better after he said this. I knew that it was his dream to start the joke shop with George and I certainly didn't want to stand in his way. I wanted him to be happy, even if it meant being away from me._

_"Your acting like I'm dying or something," he teased,"I can see you whenever, you know. Wizard, remember?"_

_"And you remember I can curse you into oblivion right?" I teased._

_He put his hand under his chin to symbolize thinking mode,"Perhaps. I think it slipped my mind."_

_I grabbed him by the collar, pulling him closer to my face,"Well then maybe I can help remind you."_

_And then I put my lips to his. The sensation was incredible as his hot breath filled my mouth. I felt myself become drunk from it as he kissed me back with such force. No matter how many times he kissed me, I always wanted more. I wanted every part of him, every last fiber of my being yearned for his touch. When we broke apart, he rested his forehead on mine and we kept our eyes closed. All I could hear was our shallow breathing._

_"I'd never leave you." He said softly as he picked his head up._

_I opened my eyes to look at him, his face simply breathtaking,"I know."_

_"Vera?" he asked._

_"Yes?" I replied, still not taking my eyes off him._

_"I want you to promise me something."_

_I didn't respond, but nodded, indicating for him to go on._

_"Promise me that no matter what happens in our lives, we'll love each other forever."_

_"Of course we will. But, isn't this whole sappy thing very non-Fred Weasley of you?" I laughed and he bumped into me playfully._

_"Yea, don't tell anyone, because then I'd have to kill you and I really don't need the headache of getting rid of the evidence."_

_"Oh, ha, ha. Well, I do promise and on a lesser note, I have to get to class." I added bitterly as I thought about seeing Umbridge. _

_"Alright, I'll walk you," He said, taking my hand in his as we made our way back into the castle. I considered for a moment that maybe I would get my own revenge on Umbridge in today's lesson. When we had gotten to the classroom, Fred gave me a quick kiss good-bye and I thought about skipping to join him in his free period, but knew I couldn't._

_"I'll see you at dinner, love" He said,"I love you always."_

_I kiss him back, savoring it before I let him go. I looked into his eyes deeply, knowing no matter how impossible it seemed to others, I would truly love him forever._

_"Until the end." I say to him and disappear inside._


	9. Blind Folded Lovers

_a vision's a poetry_

_a palette of colors_

_we're swimming an ocean_

_we're blind folded lovers_

_and now that i've found my sight_

_oh i finally realize_

_that it was there the whole time_

_oh if you're hearing this_

_i must have made it through_

_oh when the clouds above are overlooking my window_

_i see the sky's still blue_

_-andrew belle, sky's still blue_

* * *

><p><em>July 1997<em>

_The nebulous air was full of them and the cries of the others. I held my wand as if it was glued to my hand, trying to see through the darkness as I held on tightly to my thestral, jets of light nearly missing me. All I had to do was get to the burrow like Mad-Eye said, but I couldn't leave the others behind. Fred was out there, possibly hurt and what about everyone else? Fred had told me to keep going if anything happened, but I was stubborn. I yelled at the creature that held me to move faster as the air became denser, blocking a killing curse that just missed me._

_"Its Potter! Don't let him get away! Its the real one!" I heard a death eater yell somewhere near by._

_I catched my breath before sending a body-binding curse behind me, not even knowing if I hit a target. I had to keep going. That's when I heard a huge explosion and looked around to see a vibrant connection of red and green in the distance and I knew; Priori Incantatem. Voldemort was here. How was this possible? How had he known? I finally felt myself reach the barrier and stumble through it, landing ungracefully on the hard ground below and falling off the sleek back of the thestral. My body was numb and I felt myself overcome with sickness._

_"Vera!"_

_I looked up to see Mrs. Weasley hurrying towards me with Ginny. _

_"Thank goodness you're alright."_

_I looked ahead of them,"Isn't anyone back yet?"_

_Molly looked at Ginny and then back at me. She shook her head and I became suddenly fearful. Where were the others?_

_"They should have been back by now," Ginny stated._

_"We were attacked," I replied and I saw Mrs. Weasley's face drain of color._

_"Attacked?" her voice was barely a whisper,"Well I'm just glad you're okay."_

_Just then a distant sound echoed, telling us that someone else had made it back. We looked around to see Harry rushing towards us. I threw my arms around him not letting go._

_"Thank god," I breathed,"I feared the worse." I let go of him,"I saw the wand connection. How did this happen?"_

_He shook his head,"I'm not sure. Where is everyone?"_

_"They aren't back yet,"Ginny said looking over at him and he hugged her tightly, only to let go when a voice cried for help._

_We all turned to see George being supported by Lupin, the side of his head bleeding profusely._

_"My boy! Get him in the house!" Mrs. Weasley yelled._

_I watched in horror, as George was led into the house, unable to even carry his own weight. Where was Fred? I searched the sky, still waiting as Hermione finally came with Kingsley, then Bill with Fleur, and then Ron and Tonks. I watched as Hermione threw herself on Ron and Tonks hurried over to Lupin, her face streaked with tears._

_"Ron was brilliant, I wouldn't be standing here without him," she said shakily._

_"Really?" Hermione asked as she let go of him._

_"Always the tone of surprise,"Ron smiled slightly, but event that couldn't ease my worry._

_"Where is Fred and Mr. Weasley?" I panicked to the others._

_"VERA!" A voice yelled and I whipped my head around to see Fred, covered in dirt. Mr. Weasley looked exhausted, but undamaged._

_"FRED!" I screamed and held onto him for dear life, tears emitting from my eyes,"I thought-"_

_"Its alright," he said gently,"I'm okay. We're all okay. I was so worried about you."_

_He let go of me and held my face tightly, examining me with his wide eyes._

_"You're bleeding," he stated as he wiped some blood from my forehead. Had I been? I didn't even notice._

_"Where's George?" Mr. Weasley's voice came. I heard yells from inside._

_None of us spoke and I watched as everyone began rushing into the house, me following behind. George was laying on the couch and seemed to be unconscious as poor Mrs. Weasley tried to mend, what I finally found out to be, his missing ear. I covered my mouth in horror._

_"I've-ve tr-tried ev-everything," Mrs. Weasley sobbed,"But I ca-can't f-fix it."_

_"We've been betrayed,"Lupins grave voice came from behind me as Fred moved over to his brother. The rest of us looked up at him._

_"How could this have happened?" I questioned, solemnly._

_"They knew you were being moved tonight," Lupin said to Harry._

_Bill moved into the light, the scars on his face more visible than ever,"Mad eye's dead."_

_It was as if the world stopped turning at that moment. No one looked at each other, but kept there eyes fixated on Bill._

_"Mundungus took one look at Voldemort and Disapparated."_

_Of course, Mundungus. That low life piece of scum. How could he have left Mad-Eye for death? Mad-Eye, who cared so much for all of of us, had risked his life. There were no words for it._

_"How are you feeling Georgie?" I heard Fred's voice ask as Lupin and Kinglsey spoke to Bill._

_George's voice was barely a whisper,"Saint-like. Because I'm holey Fred. Get it? Holey?" He pointed to the hole where his ear would usually reside._

_I couldn't help but smile slightly at this. I looked at Ron, Harry and Hermione who also seemed to enjoy this comment._

_"All the ear related humor in the world and you go with I'm holey? It's pathetic," Fred laughed and Mrs. Weasley broke down in bigger sobs._

_"Mum, don't cry,"George soothed,"At least you can tell us apart now."_

_Mrs. Weasley sobbed even harder and Fred looked up at me then. As his eyes met mine the look in them was different than anything I had ever remembered. It was as if he felt we had such little time left and I knew I had to tell him then that I would be leaving. After what had happened this night, I couldn't live with any regret. Especially, when it concerned Fred._

* * *

><p><em>The day of the wedding I woke up to find Fred on the edge of my bed. He was already dressed in a white shirt and vest, with black pants to match. I couldn't help but think about how handsome he looked. He was staring at me and I sat up, rubbing my eyes in order to see him properly. <em>

_"Morning," he smiled,"Did you sleep well?"_

_I yawned loudly,"Somewhat. You?"_

_"I slept alright. Mum told me to come up and wake you. She figured you'd want to get an early head start."_

_I nodded slightly and removed myself from the bed, and trotted into the bathroom. With one quick wave of my wand, I instantly transformed into my appearance for the wedding. My auburn hair was half up, waved pieces falling elegantly on the side. I examined my outfit choice in the mirror and was instantly satisfied. The emerald green strapless dress that flowed out from the waist made me look like some kind of princess. Yet, it still had my retro flair. My cheeks were rather flushed and the green eyeshadow accented the hazel of my eyes. Happy, I walked back into the room to find Fred staring in awe at me._

_"What?" I laughed._

_"Nothing, you just look-bloody beautiful."_

_I walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. This feeling, this feeling of having him so close to me. To smell his scent, was enchanting. _

_"I've been thinking,"he said into my ear and I pulled away to look at him._

_"About what?"_

_"Weddings," he replied, slightly smiling at me._

_"Well that is understandable," I said, laughing._

_"What do you think about marriage?" his eyes poured into mine, but there was a playfulness to them._

_"Hmm, I don't know. If it's as real as Bill and Fleur's and my Grandparents, then I'd love to be apart of it. Otherwise, I'm not so sure. Why?"_

_He let go of me and walked over to the window. I could hear the voices of the others outside as I watched him gaze into the sun. He turned around before he spoke to me._

_"Its just been on my mind. I mean, who know what's going to happen. I know I want to be with you forever, of that I'm certain. I see the way Bill looks at Fleur and it just makes me realize that, I look at you that way. It reminds me of how much I love you."_

_I could feel a knot in my throat as he spoke. Somewhere deep inside of me, I felt some sort of comprehension. I looked at the floor, only to hear his footsteps coming back over to me, and when I dare looked up, he was there, staring._

_"Vera," he said seriously,"I want you to marry me."_

_And there it was, the explosion inside of my body. Fred Weasley had asked me to marry him. Was I dreaming? I couldn't seem to function properly, but all I wanted to scream was yes._

_"Vera?"_

_"YES!" I yelled quite loudly, taking him by surprise,"YES! I want to marry you! Are you mad?"_

_I flung myself on him and he caught me willingly. I could feel him kissing my hair._

_"Well, in that case you'll be needing this," I looked down to see something shining in the ray of light that entered the room and quickly pulled away._

_There in a little black velvet box, was diamond ring, with a teal stone in the middle of it. I barely caught my breath before Fred placed in on my finger._

_"Fred how did you-you didn't need to-"_

_But he cut me off,"I've been planning it for a little while and the joke shop is booming. George was in on it as well."_

_As I looked down at the gallant ring on my finger, I suddenly felt guilty. I still had to tell Fred about where I was going, but after this how was it even possible to?_

_"What's wrong?" he said eyeing me,"Don't worry, it wasn't a big deal. I wanted you to have it."_

_I shook my head,"Its not that."_

_I couldn't look up at him. It was too painful._

_"Is this about you going off with the others?" He asked simply._

_I looked up at him, shocked,"How did-?"_

_"Harry told me."_

_I scowled._

_"Its alright. I understand. I wish you weren't doing this, but Harry explained the best he could to help me understand that I have to let you go."_

_"Fred, I wanted to tell you. I just-it just hurt so much. The thought of leaving you behind is something I never wanted to think about."_

_I felt tears streak down my face, and felt Fred's fingers catch them._

_"Stop, you'll ruin your makeup." he grinned and I couldn't help but grin back._

_"Its all going to be okay. No matter how long it takes, wherever you are going, I'll be here. It doesn't matter if its 3 months or 3 years. When you get back, I'm still going to marry you."_

_"You better," I beamed,"You'd be a fool not to."_

_He held onto my hands as he articulated once more,"I want you to take this, though."_

_I watched as he reached into his pocket and withdrew a gold coin, which I instantly recognized._

_"That's from the D.A."_

_"Yea," he laughed,"I figured they would come in handy still. You take this one and I'll keep mine. That way I can always know that your safe."_

_He placed the gold coin into my palm and closed his fingers around mine._

_"I'll use it everyday," I promised._

_He nodded,"We better get going. Mum is probably going crazy."_

_He extended his arm for me, like a gentlemen and as I ringed my arm around his, we couldn't help but laugh. At that moment, even though I knew we didn't have much time yet, I couldn't help but pray our future would turn out the way I pictured it. Deep down in my heart I knew that no matter where I would end up, no matter how far from Fred I would be, somehow, I would find my way home to him. And as we made out way downstairs into a household of jubilant chaos, Fred's arm still entertained in mine, we caught each other's eye and made our way outside into the glorious sunlight._

* * *

><p><em>"Whats the Minister of Magic doing here?" I heard George's voice question.<em>

_I let go of Fred and looked out into the distance to see Rufus Scrigmeour walking rather fast towards us. Harry, Ron and Hermione looked at me and then back at the Minister himself, who was now facing all four of us._

_"To what do we owe the pleasure, Minister?" Harry asked._

_He looked rather flushed as he spoke,"I think we both know the answer to that Mr. Potter."_

_After an couple of awkward minutes, and protests from Fred for me to go ahead, we finally lead the Minister inside. He took a seat rather hastily and all four of us followed suit._

_"I am here," the Minister began, clearing his throat,"Because Dumbledore left you each something in his will."_

_I though I had misheard,"Dumbledore left us something?"_

_"That's right, Ms. Marion," he looked directly at me and paused before magically removing a long scroll from his leather bag,"The last will and testament of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. To Ms. Hermione Jean Granger: I leave my copy of the Tales of Beetle the Bard, in hopes that she will find it entertaining and instructive. Next, to Ronald Bilius Weasley: I leave my Deluminator, a device of my own making, in hopes that when things seem most dark; it will show him the light. Third, to Ms. Marion,"_

_I sat up straight as he went on,"I leave my bronze compass, in the faith that if something ever feels out of reach, this will guide her way."_

_I accepted the tiny compass from The Minister and eyed it carefully. Dumbledore left me something that had once been valuable to him, hoping it would be just as important to me. But why did he leave me it? Had he really known me so well and I had taken it for granted?_

_"And lastly," The Minister said loudly, causing us all to jump,"To Harry James Potter: I leave him the snitch he caught at his first Quidditch match at Hogwarts so that he may know the rewards of perseverance and skill."_

_I watched as The Minister handed the tiny golden snitch to Harry, reluctantly. As soon as it slipped from the fabric that contained it and into Harry's hand, the Minister looked somewhat disappointed. Had he been expecting something to happen when Harry touched it? _

_"Is that it then?" Harry asked and I could tell he wanted to get as far away as possible._

_"Not quite. Dumbledore also left you the sword of Godric Gryffindor. Unfortunetly, the sword was not his to give away seeing as it belongs to-"_

_"Harry," Hermione spoke up,"It belongs to Harry. It came to him when he needed it most in the Chamber of Secrets."_

_"The sword may present itself to any worthy Gryffindor Ms. Granger," he said irritably,"That does not make it that wizards property. Also, the whereabouts of the sword are currently unknown."_

_"What do you mean?" I asked, astounded._

_"The sword is missing," and I watched as the Minister looked dead at Harry before opening his mouth once more,"I don't know what your up to , but you can't fight this war on your own. He's too strong."_

_We all stood up as The Minister made his way outside, leaving an eerie silence behind. I looked at the others faces and saw that they too felt what I was feeling at that moment. I was scared, but determined. It didn't matter what lied ahead. We had each other. If Dumbledore didn't think we could do it, he would have never left us something. Without another word, we followed in the Ministers wake and as my eyes found Fred's, I suddenly felt I wasn't going to come home alive._


	10. All I See

_At your funeral, I was so upset_  
><em>So, so upset<em>  
><em>In your life you were larger than this<em>  
><em>Statuesque<em>

_I see signs now all the time_  
><em>That you're not dead, you're sleeping<em>  
><em>I believe in anything that brings you back home to me<em>

_-Bloc Party, Signs_

* * *

><p>I was welcomed into opened arms as I Apparated into Harry and Ginny's living room. My bag weighing me down, I finally released it in order to hug her properly. Ginny looked ecstatic to see me, and I couldn't help but feel the same.<p>

"I've made some tea. Just leave your bags there and we can worry about them later," she said looking rather flushed.

I nodded and followed her request before making my way into their neatly messy kitchen. With a wave of her wand the tea began pouring itself and we both took our seats before speaking again.

"I'm so happy your staying with us. Harry should be back from work soon and then I thought we could all go to dinner, unless you want to eat now."

I picked up the blue china and took a sip,"No, its fine. I'd like all of us to go."

"I think Ron and Hermione are going to come too."

I didn't look at her. I was so happy to be around everyone, but suddenly I felt like a third wheel of some sort. Ginny must have taken noticed because the next thing out her mouth was:

"Oh, Vera, I'm sorry! I didn't even realize-I just thought-"

"Its fine," I stated, cutting across her,"I want to be around all of you."

She pushed her tea away and looked at me deeply,"Talk to me. Harry told me already what happened but I want to hear it from you."

I exhaled, a sort of wave washing over me at the same time,"What else is there to tell? I'm coming back to work and I'm apparently in some sort of danger."

Ginny waved her hand impatiently, taking me by surprise,"Not that. Harry told me something about you seeing Fred."

I looked at her, no emotion on my face. Damn Harry. I had very intention of telling Ginny myself, just not right away. Was she truly interested in hearing about it?

"Do you think I'm mad?" I questioned looking down at the dark liquid in my cup and then back at her.

She sighed heavily and poured more sugar into her tea,"Harry and the others think you are under great stress, I mean, I know they want to believe you, but its hard, you know?

I nodded to her as she went on, hoping she didn't scold me.

"I told them off. I said that if you saw him, then you did. I also reminded them that there were times they needed you to believe them and that its only fair to return the favor."

I looked at her, lost for words. She truly and sincerely believed me. Then I realized I was probably foolish not to think she wouldn't. Ginny had always been this way. She always took my side. Why was I so afraid after all these years it would be different?

"Gin, I know its crazy though, but at the same time, its amazing. I mean, whatever is happening, I-I don't want to stop it."

She frowned,"If you are seeing Fred, I hardly think its okay to let it keep happening."

"But- you just said you were okay with it!" I said irritably.

"No, I said I believed you. Vera, you really think its normal to hang onto him this way? He can't move on because of you it seems."

I felt myself become overcome with some sort of pain. It felt like my heart was snapping in two.

"Look, I believe you and whatever the case is, if Fred is here with you, you have to let my brother go. I want him to be at peace and you can't fully achieve it either if you can't fully move on."

"I know," I whispered, and I truly knew that,"I just want to get back to work and try to feel normal again."

"Have you heard from Malfoy?" Ginny asked eagerly.

I laughed.

"No, why?"

She shrugged,"I was just curious. I was astonished when Harry told me he saved you."

"Yea, well, I was thinking of contacting him," I said throwing her a sharp look,"Don't tell the others."

"Oh, I won't. I solemnly swear." she said crossing her heart and I chuckled sarcastically.

"Very funny."

* * *

><p><em>So come closer, baby<em>

_I want to see what you're made of, see what you're made of_

_'Cause this isn't all we could be_

_You're not the same, and I'm, I'm not the same and..._

_No one could ever wait for you_

_And no one, yeah, no one could ever wait for you_

_I'll wait for you, love_

_-Lydia, All I See_

* * *

><p>I slipped out of my clothes and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water wash over me. I felt it then. Relaxation. Wondering where it had been, I welcomed it happily. I stood still for several minutes with my eyes closed, thoughts of the past creeping into my mind. I couldn't tell if I was crying, but I'm certain I was. Why couldn't I be free? What was causing me to live in such pain? I opened my eyes and faced the white tile ahead of me. I traced the floral patterns with my mind and suddenly felt sick as the shower became dense with steam.<p>

_"Remember when we made love in here."_ Fred's voice whispered in my ear, causing me to go into shock.

I turned around to see him facing me, so close I could still feel his hot breath even with all the steam. I watched as the droplets raked his sculpted naked body, feeling suddenly dizzy. I felt myself begin to fall, as Fred caught me and held me in his wet arms, the protectiveness of them completely canceling out my sudden fear.

_"Do you remember?" _he asked once more in an echo as he stroked my hair.

I was incapable of speaking. A thousand things were running through my mind. Seeing him in my room was one thing, but in the very shower we had once made love was madness. I tried so hard to regain my composure before my eyes truly met his. They were comforting and yearning for me to respond.

"Yes, I remember. We were so afraid the others would hear us," I smiled slightly, a lump in my throat.

He nestled into my neck, the water streaking down on us,_"You'd think after years of mischief you would have been less nervous."_

_"_Why are you here?" I asked.

He pulled away to look at me,_"Do you not want me to be?"_

I bit my lip, contemplating. How could I not want him here? But, he was making it so hard to move on. And then it hit me once more. I never truly wanted to move on.

"Of course I want you here."

And then his lips were on mine. The tingling sensation was becoming overwhelming as his hands searched me. Even through the heat, I could feel the iciness of his skin and although the old warmness of him was gone, I still felt the same when he touched me this way. I couldn't breathe as he kissed me with such potency, and I became somewhat alarmed. It had been so long since I was touched this way and I had forgotten how to react, let alone enjoy it, but we didn't stop. I wanted it, like some sick sort of paining desire.

"Vera are you alright in there?"

We broke apart when I heard Ginny's voice and my eyes darted over to the direction of it.

"Um, yes! I'll be out in a minute!"

Breathing heavily, I turned back to face Fred, only to see that he had vanished once more. As if my heart began aching, I clutched it and felt myself slide down onto the shower floor. I suddenly felt numb, as I felt myself breaking down. This life, this life was not mine. I didn't want it anymore. I just wanted to go back. To fix it all. Was there any possibility of that? I clutched my knees, hopping for a sense of security as I relived everything in my mind once more. None came.

* * *

><p><em>"Dear Draco,<em>

_I was wondering if we could meet soon. I need to speak with you. I'm afraid it's rather urgent and I no longer know who to turn to. Please write back as soon as you can._

_Yours truly,_

_Vera"_

Although my letter seemed foolish in my eyes, even after thinking about it over and over in my head, I really didn't care much at this point. I re-evaluated it once more, before finally sending Esma off with it and making my way way downstairs, where the others were waiting for me.

"There you are!" Hermione said, rushing over to hug me.

"Here I am," I smiled wearily as I released her.

I looked over to see Ron and Harry smiling as Ginny put on her coat.

"We thought we would head out to the Leaky Cauldron," Harry said to me,"I'll Dissaparate with you. I figured we could walk a little and talk."

I simply nodded my head, not entirely looking forward to this.

"Shall we go then?" Ginny finally said to Ron and Hermione.

"Yea," Ron replied taking the other two's hands,"See you there." And i saw him throw Harry a warning look before they vanished with a loud crack. Harry walked over to me so that we were side by side and grabbed my hand. Memories flooded into my head then. It had been a while since we had been alone together. It had been like this when Ron had left us, as we watched Hermione tie her scarf around a tree in hopes that he would find us again. It had also been, when I was so far away from Fred."

"Ready?" he turned to look at me, a sort of sympathy on his face.

I looked back it him, trying to understand why, only to give up.

"I'm always ready."

* * *

><p>I AM SORRY ITS SO SHORT, BUT I PROMISE IT IS FOR GOOD REASON. NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE LONG AND IMPORTANT. 33<p> 


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